We had her euthanized last Saturday, January 7th. All the cliches are true, which makes it hard to write anything without appearing trite. I knew it needed to happen, called the vet Friday, went in Saturday. I look back on it now, and it seems so surreal. It's hard to imagine that 4 of us stood around in that little white room and deliberately killed a dog. With context, it's a compassionate gift. Without context, it's completely bewildering. And somehow, my brain keeps taking a step back and looking at it without context.
Afterwords, Hubbie and I stayed there with the body for a while. Again, without context - how bizarre. But with context, I'm glad we did. She looked SO peaceful, as she hadn't looked in quite a while. It reminded me of how she used to be, and made me sure that we did the right thing by letting her go. I'm glad I was there with her both during and after.
As for getting on with life without Missy, it physically less painful than I thought. She'd been a ghost of a dog for some time, and wasn't participating in our daily lives anyways. So in the physical world, there's not much of Missy to miss. In the emotional world, it's extremely painful. There's a lot to miss, but I believe I'd already gotten used to living without her.
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