Monday, January 30, 2006

SUCKS to be me

The back story - in May, 2005 I participated in this really cool program in Spain, called Englishtown. While I was there I slipped and dislocated my shoulder. It's really quite a good story, and I should have written about it back then. However I did not, and now this is the dull story of how I annoyingly re-dislocated my freaking shoulder while REACHING TO THE MAILBOX THROUGH MY CAR WINDOW last Wednesday. Thus relegating me back to "broken" status for the next half year. I will have to go through all that freaking physical therapy again. I will not be able to dance freely for a long time. I will wince every time I turn the steering wheel. I will not be able to shave my left armpit for at least 2 months.

This SUCKS. The first time, at least it was a novel experience. Something new to add to my life chronicle, my first major injury. And in such a stunning location! With such kind people!! and oh, the fun of the Spanish hospital!!! The second time, it's a boring story and it's just plain tedious.

I cannot tell you how annoyed I am, and how little I want to face the next 3 months.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Missy is gone

We had her euthanized last Saturday, January 7th. All the cliches are true, which makes it hard to write anything without appearing trite. I knew it needed to happen, called the vet Friday, went in Saturday. I look back on it now, and it seems so surreal. It's hard to imagine that 4 of us stood around in that little white room and deliberately killed a dog. With context, it's a compassionate gift. Without context, it's completely bewildering. And somehow, my brain keeps taking a step back and looking at it without context.

Afterwords, Hubbie and I stayed there with the body for a while. Again, without context - how bizarre. But with context, I'm glad we did. She looked SO peaceful, as she hadn't looked in quite a while. It reminded me of how she used to be, and made me sure that we did the right thing by letting her go. I'm glad I was there with her both during and after.

As for getting on with life without Missy, it physically less painful than I thought. She'd been a ghost of a dog for some time, and wasn't participating in our daily lives anyways. So in the physical world, there's not much of Missy to miss. In the emotional world, it's extremely painful. There's a lot to miss, but I believe I'd already gotten used to living without her.